First monthly update

Just got my very first monthly update on the Sprout.

This included two new photos, which I can't post (see this post for an explanation). But, rest assured, she continues to be shockingly beautiful.

In other exciting news, Sproutie has finally cracked the US growth charts on weight. Yay!

At almost 5 months:

• She is 12 pounds, 12 ounces, at the 6th percentile for weight.
• She is 24.75 inches, at the 27th percentile for height.
• She has a head circumference of 16.8 inches, at the 67th percentile for head circumference.

So, in sum, she's skinny, tall, and can do some serious head-butting. :-)

takedown alert

I've just found out that it is against Ethiopian policy/law (not sure which) to post pictures of orphans online. That means until she is officially mine (my case has passed court), it is not appropriate for me to post photos of the Sprout online.

Out of respect for the Ethiopian policy/law, I have removed her image - but don't you worry... the MINUTE she is legally my daughter, I will once again grace you with her beauty!!

In the meantime, just picture in your mind the sweetest, most adorable, most beautiful child you can imagine.

Got it? Yep, that's her.

My Village ROCKS

As if one fabulous baby shower was not enough, I spent yesterday at ANOTHER fabulous baby shower for Sproutie.

I am completely astounded by the group of spectacular women I have somehow managed to collect throughout the years. I was surrounded with friends from high school, college, law school, old jobs, the current job, friends of the family, family members - you name it.

The one thing they ALL had in common? They are all truly outstanding women - smart, accomplished, powerful, funny, wonderful, wise, generous.
Every single one of them. (Seriously - no slackers.)

I spent much of the time at the shower just marveling at this assembly of women, and being gobsmacked that they were there for me and the Sprout.



Last night as I was falling asleep (or trying to) I kept thinking about the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" thing.

If this is my village, then Sproutie and I are truly blessed.

Ethiopian vs. African American

Before I started this adoption process, I never would have thought about the distinction between identifying oneself as African American as opposed to an American from Africa.

Turns out this is kind of big deal.

I recently read a really good article in Adoptive Families magazine on this very topic: My Ethiopian Daughters.

I've always felt awkward with the term African American, partially because it seems inaccurate... there are plenty of black folks in the US who have roots elsewhere (like the Caribbean, for example). And most of my friends of color refer to themselves as "Black", not necessarily as "African American".

Sproutie is Ethiopian, not African American.

Hers is a heritage of an ancient proud kingdom, ferociously independent, and (I hope I do not offend) somewhat elitist despite its struggles with resources, health, and natural disasters. She doesn't have much in common with most of the Black population in the US whose heritage is more likely to be Western African or Caribbean or mixed, and filled with a whole different slate of struggles.

So how to teach her about this? Not sure.

I do know that she will be perceived as (and treated as) African American by people who don't know her. People who are racist will dislike her because she is Black, and they won't care that she is Ethiopian. Other Black Americans are not going to treat her better just because she is Ethiopian. So it's important she understand what it means to be Black in America, not just Ethiopian in America.

I also know that I don't want her to be uppity about her heritage. Some Ethiopians consider themselves superior to other Africans, and I want to avoid instilling this in her.

But I also want her to be proud of being Ethiopian (and of being Sidama, her ethnic group), to embrace it, and not to be afraid to claim it.

This is going to be tough thing to negotiate, I think.

**updated to link to Cat's thought-provoking post on the same topic over at [A]typical Family.**

oh happy day

New photos of the Sprout!!

I LOVE these, because she looks so happy, and because they show her personality.

*** PHOTOS TEMPORARILY REMOVED***





It's looking like she may be as much of a goofball as her mama! She kinda looks like an old man here --->>
:-)

Grandmothers Gone Wild

I think I have failed to report on my mother's reaction to my referral - and specifically, to the photos of the Sprout.

And, by that, I mean that I have neglected to mention that the woman has completely lost her mind. And the people in her (very) friendly (very) little town in Oregon are probably about ready to call the nice men in the white coats to take her away. But they are probably just too nice to do that.

She emailed me today to report that she printed out the photos of the Sprout (which are, as you have seen, very low-res) on her crappy home printer, and handed them out all over town - and I mean ALL over town. To the merchants in the stores she frequents. To people she just kind of knows.

She told me that the Curves (where she works out) would like a copy of the Sprout's photo to post on the wall. Yeah, like the Curves management team is DYING to post a random baby photo. I know who is dying to post that photo at Curves, and it's not Curves!

The woman has gone whacko. But in a nice way.

her name

Several folks have commented asking about Sproutie's name.

I do not, in fact, intend to name this child "Sprout".:-) But for privacy reasons, I'm not going to post her name up here on the blog - at least for now. After I get through court and I am her legal mother, I may reveal it... not sure.

Anyway, if you want to know her name, I'm happy to tell you (assuming you are not some kind of creepy stalker). Just email me and I will give you the scoop. I'm at: yo por ter at g mail dot com (take out the spaces and convert the "at" and "dot" to symbols).

Sproutie Details and the Call

OK, now that I've slept (well, not much, really - laid there with my mind running circles until the wee hours), I can relay more info about the Sprout.

She is 4 months old, and from southern Ethiopia – a small town called Aleta Wendo (about 40 miles south of Awassa) in the Sidama region. (Here's a map.)

She is 10 lbs, 13 ounces and 23.2 inches tall. (Very small for U.S. growth charts but quite normal on the Ethiopian charts). The International Adoption pediatrician checked out her info and told me last night that she looks like an “excellent baby”. Woo hoo! (I already knew that of course.)

I got the call telling me about her yesterday afternoon, although her information arrived at my adoption agency on Christmas Day (Merry Christmas to ME!). How very amazing that Christmas turned out to be the day.

Yesterday, I was wrapping up the visit with my mother, who had flown down for the baby shower and Christmas. I was getting ready to leave the house to drive her to the airport – we were almost out the door when the phone rang. Mom sat down when I gestured wildly to her that this was THE CALL.

To my mother’s mortification, my response to the adoption agency person when she told me she was about to give me the big news was “are you SHITTING me?!!?!?!?!” (I’m so polished, no?)

I blathered on a lot, and I think I asked a bunch of questions, but I can't remember much of that conversation at all - I was just kind of in shock. Will have to call the agency tomorrow and try again. :-)

So…. what comes next?

I don’t get to go to Ethiopia just yet, I’m afraid. First, the attorney who works with my adoption agency goes to court over there on my behalf to formalize the adoption under Ethiopian law – I’ll let you know my court date, but it will likely be in late January or early February.

Then I wait my turn to get the all-important embassy date, at which I must appear in person with Sproutie at the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa. That will likely be in late February or (more likely) early March, but I won't know exactly when until after the court proceedings are finished. This date will determine when I will travel to go get the Sprout!

Please keep Sproutie in your prayers so that she stays healthy and happy, and that the court date is successful so that I can officially become her mother.

A Christmas Miracle

Guess whose referral arrived at the agency office on Christmas Day???

I present to you - the Sprout:


*** PHOTOS TEMPORARILY REMOVED***


(More data soon, but wanted my bloggy family to get to see Sproutie in all her glory right away. Just found out a few hours ago...)

I am completely, utterly, ridiculously smitten.

(did you see the dimples???? I mean, really.)

out of sight, out of mind.

Went to IKEA today for a bit o' shopping.

That, in and of itself, is not very newsworthy. What is perhaps newsworthy about today's outing is what I bought: a crib for Sprout!

This is the one I bought - it's simple, but still a tiny bit girly (see the curvy end bits. But it is not, you know, foofey. Or over-the-top girly. For Pete's sake, people, it's basically a prison device for children - how girly do you want it to be?

I'm kind of freaked out by some of the girl's rooms I've seen in catalogs and magazines lately. I refuse to have an all-pink girly-girl disney princess room. That much pink, or pretty much any amount of pastel, makes me want to projectile vomit. And I think we can all agree that only one member of a family should be expected to be capable of projectile vomiting at any time.

So, anyway, I've been thinking that Sprouty's room will be mostly white, but maybe with a nice shot of bright orange here and there. Not sure about that, but if I still to white furniture, it gives me lots of flexibility on the design.

Anyway, the point, is: Yikes! I actually bought my first real kid thing!

I mean, I've bought a few items of clothing, but those can be put away (and after a quick wash, they have been) so they are out of sight. And out of sight is out of mind. And that is kind of nice in a way - this wait time is so long that I can (almost) go for several days without thinking about it much.

But, now I have a big box full o' crib in my bedroom. Once I assemble this bad boy, there is going to be constant visual reminder of my wait.

Should I leave it in the box?

the missing list

My fabulous friend Paige recently sent me an email with a link to Target’s baby sale.

(No, they’re not selling babies. They are selling all the stuff that you need for your baby. Jeez.)

In her email, Paige innocently mentioned that I could go stock up on some baby staples, like a shade for my car window.

To which I thought to myself: “huh?”

A shade for my car window? I think I’ve seen those in other people’s cars, but I gotta say it never even entered my mind that I should get one of those. I pretty much have been thinking that what I need is diapers, a crib, some bottles, and … well, I don’t really know what else.

Which caused me to spin out into a minor panic, because I realized I actually have NO IDEA what I’m supposed to buy in order to be prepared when Sprout eventually arrives.

Holy crap – I already suck at this parenting thing.

I want to do my standard search via the miracle that is the internet, but how the hell do you formulate a google search to get this information? You can’t, actually.

Clearly what I need is the What To Buy When You Are Adopting A Baby Of As-Yet-Unknown-Gender-And-Size And Also You Haven't Been A Mom Before So You Have No Freakin' Clue Shopping List.

Which, I know. Doesn't exist.

If your daughter doesn't look like you, are you still her mother?

I hate Fox News with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns, but this is a pretty good article... nothing earthshaking, but yet another reminder of how having a kid who is obviously not your biological child forces you into the spotlight.

I hear over and over again about the many ridiculous comments and questions that people will blather out upon the sight of little Black Sprout and 6'2" blonde me.

And I really want to be prepared so I can respond in a way that will affirm my child, because he or she WILL be listening.

I need to be ready to set an example for my child that it's OK to protect one's own privacy, and that a family created by adoption is just as valid as a family created by biology.

I don't want to be defensive about it though... just want to be clear, and be able to take it in stride.

Podcast alert

Over at her excellent Thinking About Adopting website, Robin Bartko has posted a podcast of special interest to those of us adopting from Ethiopia.

It's an interview with a prominent adoption doctor, Laurie Miller, recorded during the recent Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) Conference in San Antonio, Texas:

"Health of Children Adopted from Ethiopia - An Interview with Dr. Laurie C. Miller at the 2007 JCICS Conference".

Check it out.