This blog has moved to a more private place.
If you want to keep reading, please leave a comment here with your email address (must have that), and I will send you the information about where to find me. Please tell me who you are, and if you blog publicly, your URL.
I will not publish comments, so your information will be safe. :-)
Thanks for reading!!
PLEASE note: If you do not leave an email address (or email it to me) I cannot make you an authorized reader!
**ALSO, I'm happy to invite lurkers - please de-lurk and let me know who you are (and where you blog, if you do)**
I’m going to make this blog private for some period – at least until I get through court and my adoption of the Sprout is final and binding in Ethiopia.
So, if you would like to keep reading (and I hope you do!) I need you to send me your email address. I will use your email address to officially “invite” you to be an authorized reader. After you sign in once, you can read my blog just the same way you do know. And feed readers (like Bloglines) will still work… or so I’ve been told!!
So, please leave me a comment and give me your email address, or email your email address to me at yo porter at gmail dot com. (If you want me to delete your comment after I get your email address from it, I'll be happy to do that.)
I’ll make the switch in a week or so.
Thanks, and sorry for any inconvenience this causes any of you, my beloved readers!!!
(note: some comments have been removed at the request of the commenters)
"Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."
So, most of you have heard the recent uproar about a family who was in the process of adopting from Ethiopia, and had their adoption terminated by the Ethiopian government because of their blog.
They had posted photos of their referred child (which is against Ethiopian law, as I now know) and were doing extensive fundraising, including lots of negative description of the conditions of orphans in Ethiopia. The Ethiopian government took the position that if they had to do all this fundraising, they obviously could not afford the adoption. Very sad for the family, who did not know that their blog could possibly cost them their adoption.
{begin rant - feel free to skip} Frankly, I can kind of see the Ethiopians' point on this. I am not a big fan of public fundraising for an adoption - call me cranky, but I say if you can't afford it or finance it yourself (or with your family), you might want to wait until you can. Please note I'm just talking about PUBLIC fundraising. (Full disclosure: my mom has helped me financially with the travel expenses of my adoption - and I cannot begin to tell you how much that helps. It is HUGE. She gave me this as a gift, though, and I wouldn't have asked her for it. Gifts are great!) I've never heard of anyone doing a public fundraiser for a biological child. And I think SOME the big public fundraising efforts feed into the whole "rescue" thing which I find so distasteful. Yes, the child needs a home, but when the adopting family treats the adoption as a rescue mission, it negates all the losses that the child experiences, and sets up a weird dynamic - intentional or not - that the adopted child should now be grateful to his/her parents. I don't think any child deserves that. {end rant, stepping away from the soapbox}
ANYWAY, here's the thing - I'm now kind of nervous about this blog. Even though I've taken great care to keep it anonymous, I'm worried about the Ethiopian position on blogs, and I'm worried that I'm exposing myself (and the Sprout) here.
Should I password protect my blog? Make it invitation only?
Oh great blogger society, tell me what to do. (that is if you don't already hate me for my position about adoption fundraising)
Just got my very first monthly update on the Sprout.
This included two new photos, which I can't post (see this post for an explanation). But, rest assured, she continues to be shockingly beautiful.
In other exciting news, Sproutie has finally cracked the US growth charts on weight. Yay!
At almost 5 months:
I've just found out that it is against Ethiopian policy/law (not sure which) to post pictures of orphans online. That means until she is officially mine (my case has passed court), it is not appropriate for me to post photos of the Sprout online.
Out of respect for the Ethiopian policy/law, I have removed her image - but don't you worry... the MINUTE she is legally my daughter, I will once again grace you with her beauty!!
In the meantime, just picture in your mind the sweetest, most adorable, most beautiful child you can imagine.
Got it? Yep, that's her.
Now THIS test seemed to come up with the right answer!
I spoke to the adoption agency yesterday, and found out that my dossier and referral documents are still being translated.
This which means they haven't yet been legalized.
Which means they aren't close to being SUBMITTED to court for a court date yet.
So for those of you holding your breath, you can exhale. It's going to be a while. (Looky, I did that whole thing without using the words wa_t or sl_w.)
The one bright spot in the dim picture is that I should be getting update photos and info on the Sprout late this week or early next.
Props to Tami who first posted about her (Green) brain...
I'm not sure that I agree with this description of my brain, but who am I to argue with the all-knowing Internets?
| Your Brain is Purple |
 Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself. |
Thanks to the fabulous Kate over at From Russia With Love, I'm now playing the Pay It Forward game.
How does it work?
Here are the rules:
I will send a handmade gift (of my choosing) to the first 3 people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this "PIF" exchange, and who make the same pledge on their own blog.
I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days, that is my promise!
The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward - on your own blog.
As if one fabulous baby shower was not enough, I spent yesterday at ANOTHER fabulous baby shower for Sproutie.
I am completely astounded by the group of spectacular women I have somehow managed to collect throughout the years. I was surrounded with friends from high school, college, law school, old jobs, the current job, friends of the family, family members - you name it.
The one thing they ALL had in common? They are all truly outstanding women - smart, accomplished, powerful, funny, wonderful, wise, generous.
Every single one of them. (Seriously - no slackers.)
I spent much of the time at the shower just marveling at this assembly of women, and being gobsmacked that they were there for me and the Sprout.
Last night as I was falling asleep (or trying to) I kept thinking about the whole "it takes a village to raise a child" thing.
If this is my village, then Sproutie and I are truly blessed.
Awesome resource - check it out.
And also: Guide to Caring for Black Hair for Clueless White Parents (OK, that's not really the title, but it could be).
Before I started this adoption process, I never would have thought about the distinction between identifying oneself as African American as opposed to an American from Africa.
Turns out this is kind of big deal.
I recently read a really good article in Adoptive Families magazine on this very topic: My Ethiopian Daughters.
I've always felt awkward with the term African American, partially because it seems inaccurate... there are plenty of black folks in the US who have roots elsewhere (like the Caribbean, for example). And most of my friends of color refer to themselves as "Black", not necessarily as "African American".
Sproutie is Ethiopian, not African American.
Hers is a heritage of an ancient proud kingdom, ferociously independent, and (I hope I do not offend) somewhat elitist despite its struggles with resources, health, and natural disasters. She doesn't have much in common with most of the Black population in the US whose heritage is more likely to be Western African or Caribbean or mixed, and filled with a whole different slate of struggles.
So how to teach her about this? Not sure.
I do know that she will be perceived as (and treated as) African American by people who don't know her. People who are racist will dislike her because she is Black, and they won't care that she is Ethiopian. Other Black Americans are not going to treat her better just because she is Ethiopian. So it's important she understand what it means to be Black in America, not just Ethiopian in America.
I also know that I don't want her to be uppity about her heritage. Some Ethiopians consider themselves superior to other Africans, and I want to avoid instilling this in her.
But I also want her to be proud of being Ethiopian (and of being Sidama, her ethnic group), to embrace it, and not to be afraid to claim it.
This is going to be tough thing to negotiate, I think.
**updated to link to Cat's thought-provoking post on the same topic over at [A]typical Family.**
I think I have failed to report on my mother's reaction to my referral - and specifically, to the photos of the Sprout.
And, by that, I mean that I have neglected to mention that the woman has completely lost her mind. And the people in her (very) friendly (very) little town in Oregon are probably about ready to call the nice men in the white coats to take her away. But they are probably just too nice to do that.
She emailed me today to report that she printed out the photos of the Sprout (which are, as you have seen, very low-res) on her crappy home printer, and handed them out all over town - and I mean ALL over town. To the merchants in the stores she frequents. To people she just kind of knows.
She told me that the Curves (where she works out) would like a copy of the Sprout's photo to post on the wall. Yeah, like the Curves management team is DYING to post a random baby photo. I know who is dying to post that photo at Curves, and it's not Curves!
The woman has gone whacko. But in a nice way.
Merry Christmas! Happy Ganna! Or, in Ahmaric: Melkam Yelidet Beaal!
The Ethiopian Christmas known as Ganna is celebrated on January 7th. The word Ganna is used interchangeably with the word Christmas, to mean the birth of Jesus Christ (leddat).
Here is a good article about Christmas traditions in Ethiopia.
Found a great article today that does a nice job summarizing some of the most significant events to happen in Ethiopia in the year 2007 (according to our calendar anyway!)
Check it out here on the Walta Information Centre site.
Just spoke to the program director at my adoption agency.
She said it may be a few weeks before I know my court date - we are going into a period on the Ethiopian calendar a couple of big holidays, so things are slowing down quite a bit. And before I can get a court date, my documents (and the Sprout's documents) have to be "legalized", which takes some time.
I asked how many a "few" weeks is, and she said it could be 4 to 6 weeks (on the long side). Could happen sooner, though.
There - that was an update. And look, ma - no whining!
:-)
