barely. hanging. on.
ok, that's a bit dramatic, but I am feeling a bit... stretched.
Sunday was skunk day. Since then, I've moved the bare basics (bed, some clothes, 2 chairs, card table) to the new casa. Most of my stuff arrives Saturday, and until then, it's a bit like camping.
I discovered, among other things, that:
- The new garage is too short to hold my wine cellar thingy, which weighs a gajillion pounds. So after hauling it all the way down here, I had to pay the movers to bring it back to the ranch where it now lives until I can sell it.
- The previous owners took the shower curtain rod(!) So, the first night I bathed in the weirdly-shallow bathtub. Yesterday I made an emergency Target run and solved that problem so I can now shower. But the lame bath made me realize how much I'm going to miss my big ol' deep tub. :-(
- Turns out the garage door doesn't really work. Which is probably not a big deal, since the garage is too small to hold a car. It was packed full of the sellers' stuff when I looked at the house , so I couldn't go in there. I can't even stand up straight inside of it.
- The fireplace repair scheduled for today, which was supposed to be $900, has now morphed into a $4,500 freakin' nightmare. The repair guy today identified 2 major problems, neither of which showed up in the inspection I had done 2 months ago... there goes my budget.
- This really is a VERY small house. It's about 1/2 the size of the house I left. I am now officially panicking about where all my crap is gonna go. I just want to call the storage company and tell them to drop all my shit in the bay.
- The garbage disposal smells bad. Really bad.
- The internet connection (as of tonight) works (YAY!), but my router doesn't.
- Turns out the clothes dryer doesn't really work. Found this out after washing both of my towels, then (trying) to dry them while taking the aforementioned bath. Ever dried off with a sweatshirt? Not fun.
- The color of the hall (warm pea-soup green) when viewed from the kitchen (with its sage grey-green cabinets) makes my retinas bleed.
- So far, I can't really sleep well here. I'm sure I'll get over this, but I really need the shut-eye.
- My dog hates it here. Seriously. She has never liked slick surfaces, and is very nervous walking on tile or hardwood floors. It's all hardwood here, and all of my rugs are still in storage. She walks with GREAT trepidation and only if I coax her from room to room. And then she sits on her little dog bed and trembles. It is horrible.
- Work is busy. Last week was still mellow - people took their time coming back from holidays. This week: nutty.
- I am sick. My throat is killing me. and my tonsils were impressively humongous. I'm congested, light-headed, tight-throated, but I have NO TIME to be sick...
I want to call off the whole thing, and go to bed for about a week (somewhere other than here).
And also I want to cry a little bit.
10 comments:
I'm sorry. You should be excited to be in your new home... especially since you seemed to want it so badly.
Give it time. Once you have your things there (even if you have to scale back a bit) it will start to feel more like home. India will get used to it; worse case scenario, you can buy more rugs. Right not it is just a house... you still need to make it a home.
So sorry you're having such a rough start in the new house. Just remember how much you love it. And everything is clouded because you're sick. It will get better. And India will get used to the floors (I hope). If not do as Maggie suggested and buy more rugs.
I read your post and had big ole flashbacks to one of my moves.
wanting to just CRY and make things the way that they had been.
(I know you see this coming but...) it will all settle in and down and youll adore it in a few weeks.
I know you KNOW that but in the moment it can be hard (for me to at least) see.
SBP
it will be better when you aren't sick. Sorry it is sucky now though.
Transition bites!
I hope all this stuff passes sooner rather than later and you and India can get settled in.
Dude,
It's challenging enough to move, so try not to make it harder by telling yourself how happy you should be! Of course, you could also get in knots about how you are being too hard on yourself, too...ay yi yi yi.
I loved your comment about dumping everything in the bay, cracked me up. I know the feeling. This latest post reminds me a lot of Annie Lamott's "Operating Instructions." You might want to give that a re-read. When she reveals her 'dark side', I absolutely see myself and can have new compassion. Hang in there.
I remember when I first got to London, I actually had a big old meltdown about how stupid everything British was. I called Susan L and had a big cry and told her that I couldn't live in a place where the faucets didn't work and everything was twee and there was no clothes dryer, only a washing machine and even that was in the kitchen. Obviously, I did get past that and loved London. So it does pass. :)
i love my house. it was build in 1929, which means it was built solid. there are a lot of nice little things like moulding, and chair rails, and hardwoods. but everytime something breaks, i curse it.
animals on hardwoods are really funny for the first time. I scared my cat one time, and he totally pulled a scooby doo: legs pumping like crazy but going nowhere, and then he gains traction and bolts.
Hey Chou2! Wow... have I been there before, sister!
Sit and state 5 things out loud that you appreciae about the house. Not things that you love, because you sound too far from love...lol. Just state, out loud, 5 things that you really are truly grateful for about the house... do it 5 times. If you find more than 5 things as you are reciting them, add them to the list.
Things - and you - will then immediately feel better, and GET better... I promise :)
Try it... you'll see ;)
Hugs and love to ya my sistah friend!
Thank you everyone!!
I am feeling a teensy bit better today, though I still can't sleep (might help if I turned of the damn computer.)
Oh dear, you know these things seem to go hand in hand with moving. This too shall pass and in a matter of time it will be the home that is the most special home because it is yours and sprouts.
Take it slow!
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