validation

Yesterday, I had my first appointment with the Social Worker who is doing my homestudy.

It was about 2 hours of general info-gathering, and some good discussion about the issues involved in international adoption, trans-cultural adoption, and trans-racial adoption. I liked her, and it felt good to be able to talk to someone who really knows this issues inside and out.

She asked me to tell her how I arrived at the decision to pick Ethiopia. I told her that health and age were my two biggest factors - I want a child who is healthy, and age 6 months or younger when I bring him/her home. And I've always loved Africa - have traveled there several times, and feel a real connection that I can't really explain. So, I would be excited to get to incorporate Ethiopian culture into my life. And I would *love* to bring my child back to Ethiopia someday - I don't need much of an excuse to go there!!

I told her that I had concerns about raising a Black child in my mostly-white community. And I said that, ultimately, my fears about FAE/FAS and attachment disorders (which exist everywhere there are Caucasian children available for adoption internationally) outweighed my fears about the racial issues. And I even unveiled my vanity and admitted that the fact that Ethiopians are just freakin' gorgeous is a factor - embarrassing, but true - part of me would relish the chance to bask in the reflected beauty from my child.

I told her that, since I don't feel it is critical for me to have a kid who looks like me, and am willing to do the work necessary to race a child of another race, I thought I'd chuck the color thing right out the window go with the program that let me have my kid as young as possible, and from a place & culture in which I have genuine interest. And, even though I looked at every program under the sun, I just kept coming back to Ethiopia. And I've finally stopped second-guessing that.

It was nice to get to articulate my thought-process... when I heard myself saying it, it just sounded right, and comfortable.

The SW said that she was impressed by the amount of research and thought I had put into it, and that she thought I had definitely made the right choice with Ethiopia. She told me that I ws like a "breath of fresh air". I loved hearing that, being the validation ho that I am... ;-)

Now, it's time to get nose to the grindstone on the paper chase -- can't have my second visit with her (where she comes to my house! ack!) until I get documentation in...