not very charitable

I had an interesting exchange with someone at my new church the other day, and it got me thinking.

It really, really, REALLY bothers me when people think I am adopting from Ethiopia in order to rescue a child.

I started out wanting to adopt from Ethiopia - kind of gut feeling, because I've traveled quite a bit in Africa, and feel very attached to the place in a way I can't describe.

But, I looked at a lot of other programs just to have the confidence that I did the appropriate amount of research (Russian, Kazahkstan, Guatemala, China, Ukraine, Columbia, Rep. of Georgia, etc.). I kept coming back to Ethiopia. My priorities were rather selfish ones - the health of the available children, and whether I could be approved to adopt an infant.

Ethiopia's children are cherished and well cared for, and the current AIDS crisis means there are far too many babies without homes, so the government is willing to let some of them be adopted overseas. Even in the orphanages, the kids are really bright, generally happy (and gorgeous!) children. So Ethiopia is an obvious first choice for me.

I want to be clear that what I am doing is not altruistic. I'm very happy, of course, that I will be giving a home to a child who might not otherwise have one. But mostly I'm thrilled to have a child to call my own. I am grateful to the Ethiopian government that they would entrust me with one of their own. I think the chartiable act is their's, not mine.

Most of all, it would really bum me out if people expect my child to be grateful. No child should have to be grateful to have a home -- it is their right.