I hate "Gotcha Day"
The adoption world is full of language that is either strained or mawkish, or just plain ol' inappropriate.
Take, for example, "Gotcha Day". This is the phrase many adoptive families use for the day they first had custody of their newly-adopted child. To me, it reeks of entitlement / possession / acquisition and lots of other slightly icky sentiments, none of which acknowledge the profound experience of the child.
I can see having a "gotcha day" for the new sofa, but for a CHILD?!?! Cree. Pee.
For a far more eloquent discussion about the use of the phrase "Gotcha Day", please see Paula's excellent post on the topic.
I plan on using something - anything - else. Adoption Day? Family Day? Something else I haven't thought of Day?
What do you all use to refer to that day?
17 comments:
I'm not using anything, since I'm not an adoptive parent, but my uneducated opinion is that "Homecoming Day" sounds nice and fitting.
I'm not a fan of the Gotcha Day thing either. It just feels a little icky to me.
So my creative self calls it "The day we picked Sabrina up for good". Catchy isn't it? We aren't even sure what day to celebrate. The day I picked her up to foster? The day Steve came back to pick us up and we were united as a full family? The day the adoption was final? The day we arrived back in the states?
To say I agree with you would be a major understatement! I am not sure what we will call it but NOT Gotcha Day.
Oh, I like "Homecoming Day"!!
Thanks, Pamp.
I completely agree with you - Gotcha Day has gotta go. IMHO, it's another example of trivializing something so significant by giving it a throw-away, cutesy, catchy name. I'll bet the birth families would love to hear it referred to as Gotcha Day.
I had read Paula's post a while back and liked what she wrote - it was good from an adoptee's POV (& I liked her name for it!).
p.s. Forever Family is another example of adoption terminology that I can't stand - that one makes me physically ill, it's so cheesy.
We've always called the day we met Elliott "Happy Family Day." The day we formally adopted him, a few months later, is "Adoption Day." Family day is a celebration just for us three, now four. Adoption Day was more of a party day. We've agreed that we'll celebrate just one Happy Family Day each year, and now that Elliott is older, we'll celebrate his birthday with more fanfare and focus less on his adoption (same goes for Mrs. Plump). Albert jokes that we have som many days to celebrate, that a 'regular' day is a reason to celebrate the non-celebration.
MEE TOO!,
(are you tired of my ita's yet?)
I think it sounds snatchy and grabby. Although I guess it could be sweet and re-assuring... "I've got you. No one can hurt you." like when you catch them when they're jumping into the pool or waking from a bad dream...
"Family Day" is what it is, but isn't v. catchy...I heard a good one the other day and thought I'd remember it. Hmmm...guess it wasn't as catchy as I thought.
'You're mine, mine, mine, mine, suckah' Day!
Although in return, I'm sure my daughter, upon leaving for college, will celebrate 'I'm frigging free, free, free from the freak' Day!
OMG, I too loathe the Gotcha Day term. Creepy is right! We're either going to call it "Gracie Day" or "Family Day". But since I plan on having more than one adopted child, I'm thinking it would be nice to call it Gracie Day so each Child has their special day that we can celebrate with the entire family.
Gonna go read Paula's post now...
I couldn't agree more. It sounds like "snatched away by a villain day." I hope my future children and I will celebrate the day we met. I hope that the name of the day will come to us sort of naturally. Enough with the cheesey, dreamy, disneyish pre-fab, externally imposed labels for all things adoption.
I understand where you're coming from, but it doesn't bother me one bit. Slugger loves the term "Gotcha." It's the day that I got him and the day that he got me.
i'm not crazy on the term either. i think we will just call it "maya day" or "family day"
gotcha seems like a poor term for the day you became a family with your child.
just my opinion.
That term has always made me vomit a little in my mouth. It makes me think of something you say when killing an insect....."Gotcha". Family day is at the top of my list so far.
oh my goodness, i'm so glad you said this! i hate it too! it's almost as bad as when people say forever familes - it's a family. anyway, do we have to call it something? how about 'the day we thought would never actually get here?!??' :)
I hate it too, really really dislike it! I like Family Day, or Our Anniversary etc. I read "20 things adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew" and it really made me see that this day that we view as so happy may be a sad day for them.
Gotcha to me smacks possession and in the adoption world, there is enough of that, too much in fact!
Ha! I thought I was the only one :) I can't stand that term. We look forward to the day our baby is 'in our arms', or 'the happy day we meet'. Anything but never Gotcha.
"The day we met our son/daughter" or "the day we met XXX (insert name.)" How's that for straight and to-the-point. I hate the Gotcha Day thing too. It's dorky.
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