Adopting is the New Black
Urban Outfitters is selling a tee shirt that says "Rehab is the new black".
DUH! Tell me something I didn't already know.
But they are also selling this one that says "Adopting is the new black." Which has many in the adoption community all freaked out.
And in a spasm of indignation, they've written letters, and sent emails, and made phone calls, and - lo and behold -- Urban Outfitters has stopped selling it on their website (though rumor has it you can still buy it in the stores).
It seems to me that we adoptive parental types tend to have hair-trigger reaction to things like this. I vote for being appropriately sensitive but also not losing our sense of humor.
And, hullo? It's URBAN OUTFITTERS, people. The shirt is provocative. Their raison d'être is to provoke.
Perhaps I am just an insensitive asshole. (Probably.)
I do see the problems with this tee - I'm not saying I would wear the damn thing. It implies that the reason people are adopting is because it's the "in" thing to do (but, perhaps there are some people who are doing just that? and if so, should we not mock them?). And it implies that adoption's current hip status is fleeting. And an adopted person who sees it (and gets the implicatio) might be offended, I guess. I don't think I would be.
But! I like what this tee does. It posits the idea (even while mocking it!) that - for whatever reason, and for however long - adoption is considered hip right now.
I like the idea that adoption is becoming more visible in a positive way, and is becoming a part of the popular culture. This would be a nice change from the weird collective cultural stigma we have had about it in the past. If adoption were truly to become "the new black", then maybe more families would consdier adopting kids who need homes.
Let's seize the moment now that adoption is a popular topic, and take the opportunity to educate people. Maybe then adoption can move from something that is temporarily in fashion to an established, valid, and respectable way to create a family.
This shirt could provoke thousands of such conversations. So I welcome it.
Even if that means I have to deal with the occasional moron who asks me if I'm adopting because I want to be like Madonna or Brangelina.
Because, yeah. That's why I'm doing it.
And then I'm going to rehab.
13 comments:
I so agree!!
People get all up in arms about it because "it's about the children not about you!" "Children are not commodities!"
Lighten up I say.
Dude - I'm telling you, go to rehab first. It's a great way to pass the time while you wait for your hip new kid.
Do I think the shirt is tacky? Yep. Am I twisted enough to chuckle at it a little? Yep. I really don't see it as a commentary on most of us so I don't worry about it much.
Well put. You really hit all the good points. I totally agree with you. I think we AP's have become a bit too sensitive when it comes to some issues. Sometimes we should just let things, like the shirt, runs it's course. It won't be here long.
You hit it right on the nail girl!
First, you're correct in that it's Urban Outfitters. They always have slightly inappropriate shirts that always make me laugh. I even puchased my favorite that said "Montanna has a big ol' butte." But, their idea of an XL is for little skinny emo boys and as a 37 year old I sort of felt like I was packed in a sausage skin.
I returned it.
Everyone should lighten up. I think the shirt is hilarious and would even purchase one.
I wrote a thank you email to UO. I was glad to know that even without a 2500.00 purse and wearing last year's jeans, I was on top of the fashion "it" list.
The shirt is funny. Deciding my kids are less than is not so funny. If something (or someone) crosses that line, I'll take issue, until then, I'll just decline to purchase said product if it's not to my liking. Honestly, I find this shirt far less distasteful than some of the 'adoption-friendly' wear. But that's another topic entirely...
Doris "I've never been paper pregnant" Day
I am pretty grounded about these things too....sometimes things that create discussion are a good thing. Of course, when I am a mom and that discussion hurts my child...then that's probably a whole other reaction!
Amen! well put - Helga
You know, I was originally pissed off about it. I kinda took it personally NOT because IT offends me persay, but because I'm freaking sick and tired of being compared to Angelina Jolie (maybe if the comparison was that we had the same body, I wouldn't mind...lol). I get so pissed when people say "you just want to hop on the adoption bandwagon like all the stars...". THAT pisses me off, and I think that I misdirected my angst. Thanks for opening my mind :)
It looks like I am one of the only 'brave' or 'stupid' APs willing to say "I don't agree" on this post. I hear what you are all saying but I really take issue with a 'fashion' house telling me that my choice to adopt is a 'fad' that will, like all fads, wane.
What does that say about society's beliefs, attitudes towards and value about our choice to adopt if we are going to make jokes? Seriously!
I see nothing humourous in this piece of crap statement tee - in fact I think most would agree that it is down-right demeaning. I don't feel a couple's choice to adopt (and lets be honest here - most families who do adopt don't have another choice in the way they create their families) should be seen as artificial and temporary, when we all know what we have to go through to finally be parents.
Biological parents don't need to be fingerprinted, referee-checked, inspected, interrogated to an inch of our lives and made to fill out copious amounts of RSI-inducing paperwork before they decide to conceive. Any skank can have a baby of their own, yet people just like us have to have the Spanish Inquisition before we can even be considered for approval to adopt.
I don't want you to think that I do not have a sense of humour, because I do. I love to laugh but offensive, politically incorrect junk like this really shits me off.
When, as APs, are we going to be taken seriously as parents? When will society advocate on our behalf, if this sort of innuendo contines? You tell me.
I'm not a AP but...I wouldn't wear the shirt nore buy it... and I think there are a lot of implications that the "stars" adopted for less than good of loving reasons.. we don't really know that.. that's the press and the tabloids I've never talked to any of them... and I think the shirt is picking more on the star ap's not the non-star AP's ... and I think that is sad and not fair to them...
I agree that sometimes parents become a little nuts about things. I am both an adoptee and the mother of an adoptee. I don't like the shirt and it didn't make me laugh. In a few words, I felt that Urban Outfitters made my whole existance seem like a trend and a joke.
It's a mockery of hollywood, not average society. there IS a difference. AP's offended by such don't need to buy/wear the shirt and would hopefully be intelligent enough to realize that the shirt/joke is directed towards people like brad pitt and angelina jolie who are perfectly capable of having children. if it had said, "GAY ADOPTION IS THE NEW BLACK" yes, it would be offensive. Lighten up. It's just fashion. And perfectly harmless.
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