In which the cops assault my backside

So yesterday, I was leaving work, and stopped at a red light just outside corporate headquarters.

And, suddenly, *BAM*!!! -- someone smashed into the back of my car.

I looked up and was astonished to see it was a cop car. Yes, people, it's true - the Marin County Sheriff's Dept smacked me on the backside.

We pulled over, and the sweetest little baby cop emerged from the patrol car. He was about 25 years old, and (as you can imagine) totally mortified. After I assured him that (1) I was unharmed, and (2) I was not going to sue, he started breathing again. My back bumper was dented, but not badly. However, the front grill of his car was totally smashed in.

He had to call his Seargant, and so another cop car arrived in a few minutes. The Seargent was very nice, and funny, and gave Baby Cop a lot of grief about busting up his one-week-old car. They informed me that they would have to call the City Police, since they (the Sheriff's Dept) couldn't file a report on an accident they caused. So, up rolled *two more* cop cars.

So, imagine if you will, the picture: me, standing on the sidewalk surrounded by four cops, next to my car and four patrol cars pulled up behind. Meanwhile, lots of employees from my new workplace are driving by. Not just one or two -- scores of them. And everyone is rubbernecking.

I felt like waving a sign that said, "Hi, I'm your new corporate counsel. Nevermind the massive police action."

I told the cops that they would have to help me come up with a much more interesting story to explain the massive police presence I caused. None of the cops was much of a creative thinker, so got no help in that department.

However, one of them *did* suggest that they fan the cop cars out in a semi-circle around my car, so it would look like they had to box me in after a high-speed chase.

Nice.